One of the most challenging issues with young people is to ensure their consistent motivation. We often hear from infant to adolescOne of the most challenging issues with young people is to ensure their consistent motivation. We often hear from infant to adolescent, ‘I’m bored’, ‘I’m tired’, ‘What’s the point of doing this?’ and so on. This happens with almost all children at some point during their upbringing. The issue becomes more challenging when children enter into their adolescence with an array of teenage matters taking centre stage, from boy-girl relationships to the ever-changing fashions of the day. This can create commotion in most families, especially within those that suffer from instability, weak parental relationships and poor parenting. It takes strong moral authority and persuasive power from parents and adults to keep children interested, motivated and inspired.

Motivation and theory is very important in academic research and organisational performance. What motivates some to altruistically serve others with time, energy and hard-earned money? What is it that motivates people in their actions; is it an urge for personal fulfilment, a desire for fame or just benevolence to others? Does this urge come from one’s human instinct, sympathy for others, patriotic fervour, ideological commitment, religious zeal or spiritual solace? Why do some people have this ‘fire’ in them, while most others do not even bother beyond their own sphere?

Motivation is very complex. It is what causes us to act or ‘get going’. It is defined as ‘the process that initiates, guides and maintains goal oriented behaviours.’ Motivation is the inner urge that involves biological, emotional, social and cognitive forces that activate our behaviour. Various triggers, inner or external, work to bring motivation in us. Material reward and sanction are important for some, but others are motivated regardless.

The issue of faith and religion become pertinent at this point. For believers it is the reward of God’s mercy and penalty of His justice that acts as a motivater. In the Muslim faith, Islam, meaning ‘peace’ through ‘wilful surrender to God’, motivates Muslims to behave righteously, serve people and sacrifice for the truth. In his phenomenal book Islam Between East and West, the great Bosnian philosopher and politician, Alija Ali Izetbegović, rightly proclaimed ‘Islam, thy name is surrender.’

However, for people of a higher level of religious spirituality it is the Divine Love, or love of God demanding a total surrender to Him, that motivates them. In Islamic history Rabia Basri in the 8th century and Jalaluddin Rumi in the 13th century spread the love of God that reverberates in the Muslim world. Rabia Basri used to pray; ‘O God! If I worship You for fear of Hell, burn me in Hell, and if I worship You in hope of Paradise, exclude me from Paradise. But if I worship You for Your Own sake, grudge me not Your everlasting Beauty.’

Love of the Divine thus creates deeply rooted motivation. But how do we motivate ourselves and our children in our mundane life, day in day out? Here are a few ideas;

Create a deeper and loving relationship with your children

There is no alternative to a loving relationship with your children in motivating them. Men and women have unique personalities designed to complement each other for the benefit of the family and the children. Parenting is a joint responsibility and parents should know how and when to harmonise each other while dealing with their children and addressing any concerns with their behaviour.

Build a positive home and community environment

A positive home environment, where love, respect, sharing and caring are abundant, is the source of motivation for a growing child. Home is the basic human organisation and a positive home culture, like positive culture in an organisation, motivates its members.

Be role models to your children

Parents genuinely expect their children to grow as motivated individuals; it is vital they themselves become motivated role models. All children want to see their parents practice what they preach. In the days where celebrity role models are beamed in through the media, parents should remain living role models, and present in their everyday lives. As children grow, the mother and father should be the practical role models to their daughters and sons.

Look for positive features in your children and praise them

Every one of us has distinctive strengths and weaknesses naturally. Parents should be able to cultivate the positive features in their children and use them to motivate. This is how a child’s self-esteem will grow and how their confidence will rise. We should not undermine our children’s worth for their occasional misdemeanours.

Give full attention to your children

Children are born out of our love and every child deserves our special attention. Children should know that they are exceptionally dear to their parents; they should get full attention for whatever demand they come up with so that they feel worthy.

Link them with your family and ethnic roots

One important responsibility, especially when dealing with teenage children, is to link them with their roots. This gives them confidence in their identity and a sense of continuity. “To remain ignorant of things that happened before you were born is to remain a child”, observed Cicero. This is a powerful and telling statement. A people neglectful of their history is like a person suffering from dementia; without a sense of belonging or roots they find it difficult to have a direction in life. This is why all developed nations ensure history is one of the most important curricula in their school education system. Religious texts, such as the Qur’an, have given special attention to history and the knowledge that can be drawn from it.

Motivating children is a great test of parenting. In our daily lives of trials and tribulations, from unsatisfactory jobs to difficult family situations, we may feel exhausted and frustrated. We need resilience in the face of these hardships; we need pride to lift our confidence. If we know the simple techniques to regularly motivate ourselves, we can create a sense of purpose within us. With that and the necessary techniques, we can actively and consistently motivate our children too.

The article was first published in The Platform: http://www.the-platform.org.uk/2012/05/09/motivating-your-child/

An exciting and inspirational Parenting programme in Stockholm, Sweden, on 28-29 April 2012. 

A two-day interactive workshop, themed ‘Family is the bedrock of human society’, was organised at Kista Folkhögskola on 28-29 April 2012 under the auspices of Youth Muslim Initiative (YMI), a youth organization based in Stockholm University. Dr. Muhammad Abdul Bari, an author and parenting consultant from London, the UK, facilitated the workshop.  Fifteen families (35 participants) attended the sessions. They were mostly young couples from various professions.

The programme was highly interactive, with activities, anecdotes and role-plays. The topics covered were concept of positive and lifelong parenting, tools for building confident relationship with children, skills of assertive discipline and building confidence for creating a tension-free environment. Issues related to building wholesome family environment, developing positive community ethos and improving social engagement in Europe from an Islamic perspective were also covered.

The workshop got overwhelming admiration and positive feedback from all.

Saiful Islam,
Stockholm.

In this fevered atmosphere of rising nationalism Islam, the religion of its most-impoverished people, is taking over the continent. Never mind the agonies such sentiments caused when acted upon by the Norway killer, Anders Breivik last year. “Racism is the lowest form of stupidity; Islamophobia is the height of common sense!” said one group in 2008.

To any person with a modicum of common sense such attitudes are absurd and bordering on a mythical view of reality. We must check their rise. In a powerful indictment, the Council of Europe Commissioner for Human Rights, Thomas Hammarberg, posted a blog about how European Muslims are stigmatised by populist rhetoric (October 2010).

“European countries appear to face another crisis beyond budget deficits – the disintegration of human value. One symptom is the increasing expression of intolerance towards Muslims. Opinion polls in several European countries reflect fear, suspicion and negative opinions of Muslims and Islamic culture,” he wrote.

He was not alone in giving Europeans this warning; many people across British politics and media have shared similar sentiments for some time. Amnesty International has shared this concern. In its April 2012 report Choice and prejudice: discrimination against Muslims in Europe Amnesty exposes the impact of discrimination on Muslims. Marco Perolini, Amnesty’s expert on discrimination, says: “Muslim women are being denied jobs and girls prevented from attending regular classes just because they wear traditional forms of dress, such as the headscarf. Men can be dismissed for wearing beards associated with Islam. …. Rather than countering these prejudices, political parties and public officials are all too often pandering to them in their quest for votes.”

Amnesty International has accused France, Belgium and the Netherlands of failing to implement proper laws banning discrimination in employment.

It is disheartening that a continent that had learnt many lessons in such a hard way, after the devastation of the two World Wars, and which prides itself in equality and human rights, is allowing itself to be influenced by the forces of intolerance and hate. It is now open season to malign Muslims because of their religious and cultural practices. Yet Muslim immigrants arriving after the war joined in the effort to rebuild the economies of war-torn Europe in the 1950s. In almost every field of life, Muslims have been an integral part of the European tapestry. Muslims are today at home in Europe, have been contributors to its past and are stakeholders in its future.

Yet the language and rhetoric used by the Far Right and the level of political expediency in mainstream European politics is mind boggling. The hate mongers are apparently succeeding in swapping a racist agenda for an Islamophobic one. The lacklustre response from European leaders has paved the way for anti-Muslim bigotry to move closer to the mainstream.

It took a cold-blooded massacre of 77 Norwegian youths by a far-right ‘Christian’ extremist, Anders Behring Breivik last summer, to shake the conscience of Europe’s political class. It was a horrendous wake-up call to home-grown far-right violence and ideology, inspired by the rhetoric of vote-chasing politicians, pseudo academics, media analysts and hate groups like the English Defence League (EDL) in Britain. Breivik, in his recent trial, has made vitriolic attack on European leaders for their ‘impotence’ to stand up against Muslim ‘conquest’ of Europe. In this, he is propounding the ‘Eurabia’ fantasy that is central to the so-called ‘counter jihadist’ movement propelled by ideologues in the USA.

Elsewhere, in countries like France, the shockwave of the far-right Front National polling nearly one fifth of French voters in the first round of the presidential elections is still reverberating. Both the socialist candidate and the incumbent President are now wooing the supporters of Marine le Pen.

We should not be complacent in Britain. The recent news that the EDL has joined hands with the British Freedom Party (BFP) is going to have political implications. The BFP was formed in 2010 by disaffected members of the BNP and whatever its stated objectives, its main target is the Muslim community. It wants to ban the Niqab, stop the building of new mosques and Islamic schools and outlaw Sharia (as if it runs Britain!) including Islamic finance. The news that EDL head Tommy Robinson is to be appointed Deputy Leader of the British Freedom Party has alarmed anti-racist groups like HOPE not hate and others.

The alliance of EDL and BFP would be more dangerous than the BNP: the current EDL head ‘Tommy Robinson’ (real name: Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, a tanning salon manager from Luton) has a better media presence than the Holocaust-denying Nick Griffin. In focusing on Islam and the threat of ‘Islamist extremists’ they can have a bigger appeal than the simple racist agenda of the BNP. With political trust at an all-time low, this far right alliance may take advantage of voter apathy in national and local politics to advance their cause.

Be that as it may, we must stand firm and not let our country and continent slip into the intolerant past. We must join hands to slay the dragon of Islamophobia and help build Europe again with everyone’s help, Muslim and non-Muslim, alike. It is time we listen to the voices of sanity, not hate.

This article first appeared on the Huffington Post.

Along with four other British Muslim terror suspects, Ahmad has just lost a battle against extradition from Britain to the United States in the European Court of Human Rights. He is accused of running a terrorist website.

Whilst some of our senior politicians have expressed their delight at this verdict, this case raises serious questions about the fairness of justice in Britain. It also shines an uncomfortable light on the role of our police and Crown Prosecution Service (CPS), and the imbalance against Britain in its extradition treaty with the US.

Tragic case

Babar Ahmad is the longest serving British detainee-without-charge, having been held in a high-security prison for eight years. If this is not a violation of human rights, then what is?

Ahmad’s case is a tragedy in itself. In December 2003, he was arrested at his London home during an anti-terror operation, sustaining over 73 forensically-recorded injuries, including bleeding in his ears and urine, before reaching a police station. He was released without charge six days later. The Metropolitan Police later paid him £60,000 in compensation.

In August 2004 he was re-arrested and imprisoned pending an extradition request from the US under the one-sided ’2003 US-UK Extradition Treaty’, part of the Extradition Act 2003. The police sent all the evidence against Ahmad to the US without giving the CPS the opportunity to consider any of it. There is a separate deep concern about how the case has been handled by the CPS itself, especially considering the fact that it admitted in November 2011 that it had not reviewed a “significant amount” of evidence seized from Ahmad’s home.

Why did the US want him extradited to America? It was on the grounds that he supported “terrorism” in the 1990s, which Ahmad has consistently denied. His legal team have all along been pleading that he be tried in the UK - where the alleged crimes took place, and the evidence was obtained. Only a few days ago, in a BBC interview, he had asked for a trial here.

Politics

The Babar Ahmad saga is as much political as it is legal. I am neither a lawyer, nor a politician, but one does not have to be an expert in these fields to know that law is for human beings, not the other way round.

The extent of feelings in both the Muslim and wider communities was highlighted by an e-petition late last year which generated almost 150,000 signatures asking for Ahmad to be tried in the UK. A report released by the House of Parliament Joint Committee on Human Rights (JCHR) last year also urged the UK government to change the law so that Ahmad’s perpetual threat of extradition could be ended without further delay. Furthermore, numerous cross-party MPs have been asking for a change in our extradition treaty with the US.

It is not so much Babar Ahmad’s guilt or innocence as his right to a trial within the UK that is at question – something the controversial US-UK extradition treaty of 2003 does not permit. Ahmad’s extradition now looks highly likely to proceed - unless the British government intervenes.

According to the UN Declaration on Human Rights, Article 10: ‘Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.’ It appears, however, that this is going to be denied if there is collective failure of political will by our Government: a government which should be protecting the legal rights of one of its citizens who has already been held for the past eight years.

At a time when British public have less trust in our politics and politicians, it is important that their voice is heard. It is time we have a full public inquiry about the handling of evidence by our CPS on Babar Ahmad’s case.

Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari is a parenting consultant (www.amanaparenting.com). He is a founding member of The East London Communities Organisation (TELCO), Chairman of the East London Mosque Trust, and former Secretary General of the Muslim Council of Britain (2006-10).

This article can be found on Dr Bari’s Huffington Post blog here, and on his Al-Jazeera blog here.

In my book Addressing Adolescence: A Guide to Parenting in Islam, I explored a Muslim perspective of adolescence and its issues, as this is where my primary experiences come from. However, adolescence and its adventures and challenges are universal. I have come across children and parents from all faiths during my two decades of experience as a Science teacher and a Behaviour Support teacher. I have had to address and confront the issues surrounding adolescence head on and I have found similar worries, concerns and challenges from everyone, irrespective of their background.

It seems to be that the arrival of adolescence in a family is now being feared by more and more parents; ‘Little children, headache; big children, heartache’, says an Italian Proverb. However, despite this, the good thing is that many families generally sail through the challenges well. In the long run, some even find this ‘headache and heartache’ rather fulfilling.

Adolescence can be a nightmare or can bring knightly power. It generally attracts criticism from elders for its restlessness and rash and impulsive outbursts. On the other hand, it ushers in a new life with creative enterprise, vitality and enthusiasm. It is the period where human beings discover their energy and potential and aspire to do things which are often unusual, audacious and exploratory. If driven by high spiritual, social and moral values and a positive ethos on life, its creative and dynamic power can lift people to great heights. However, misguided adolescence can be a destructive force that can let individuals down and create havoc in society.

How are we doing with our own adolescents in Britain? The story is mixed and often not encouraging. A study by the Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR) found in 2006 that Britain’s teenagers are ‘among worst in Europe’ on every indicator of bad behaviour used in the study – drugs, drink, violence and promiscuity. But are we really fair on passing this judgement on our adolescents? ‘We’re not all bad!’ protest young people. A sentiment expressed in an ongoing debate in the educational, social and political arenas.

The question is: if we accept the IPPR findings as a reality, then whose fault is it?

Young children generally conform to their parents’ wishes in their early years. As children enter into adolescence and begin their exciting transition into young adulthood, they undergo extraordinary changes in their bodies as well as in their feelings and emotions. Growing up is an once-in-a-lifetime experience, exhilarating for some and painful and complex for others.

The physical change, known as puberty, prepares them to be physically capable of reproduction. This preparation involves changes in bodily hormones that give rise to an immense attraction for the opposite sex. Adolescents could be driven into unethical boy-girl relationships if the environment is indulgent and one’s understanding of life is poor, potentially leading to burdensome or even damaging consequences upon their lives and health.

As teenagers do not have any control over their physical growth, this enforced change can create feelings of confusion in them. As they are perceived differently by people around them, the ensuing psychological and emotional changes can make them unreasonable and unpredictable. Adolescents know that they are still dependant on their parents but are aware that they must become self-reliant. They try to assert their independence and they do this in ways that may seem disruptive to household routines. For example, adolescents may resent participating in family activities, be discourteous to younger siblings and rude to elders. They may be interested in reading adult books or magazines, listening to loud music and watching TV programmes which their parents may not like. They may come up with different hair styles and fashion, come home late or refuse to participate in family-orientated activities. They may insist their parents buy them certain expensive designer clothes or games or mobile phones.

Many adolescents are very much influenced by their friends and role models they come across in electronic and print media. This is a phase when some suffer from insecurity, eating disorders, egocentrism or even from mental health problems. This can make them rude or even rebellious to parents, teachers and other adults. It is at this stage that parents need to show their utmost patience and empathy; they need to change their own attitudes towards their children. They should consider their adolescents as individuals in their own right. The parenting skills employed in raising them in early stages have to be adapted to their ‘new’ children.

As puberty descends upon children, parents should be able to open discussions with their adolescents sensitively regarding the onset of adulthood and the rights and duties of adult life. Sensitive parents do not press too hard on their adolescent children to fit into the adult world. Rather, they give them plenty of space and time to settle on their own. On the other hand, they cannot afford to be too libertarian or neglectful. Children are under enormous pressure to conform to the existing youth culture of the day. The best attitude to adopt is the positive, rational and flexible attitude; polite but assertive. Parents need to keep in mind that although they are not their children’s friends, they should be friendly with them. Adolescents should never feel they are ignored or under-valued. Nor should they feel that they can get away with unacceptable behaviour.

One of the most effective strategies for parents at this stage is to remain consistent in their behaviour and empathetic with their adolescents, who should be given praise, space, respect and appreciation. Adolescents should be fully involved in family affairs and household chores. They should be given the opportunity to enjoy their life, albeit in a wholesome way. Parents should make sure they do not get angry with their adolescents or stupidly quarrel with them. Parental discord at this stage can be too much for an adolescent to bear and they may find life outside the home easier. A consistent family routine agreed upon within the family through consultation through situations such as family time, eating together and other familial activities, is helpful. A home should be a solace for all its inhabitants.

Parents should watch out and keep an eye on what happens in their children’s school. Is there any sign of unhappiness brought from school or from outside due to, say, bullying or discrimination? Does something bother them? Who are their best friends? Are there gangsters, drugs, violence or extremism in your local community that your adolescent can be dragged into?

Then there are vital questions of motivation and aspiration. Is your adolescent doing well in education and as an individual? Do they have self-esteem and are they confident with their identity? Are they happy within themselves and are they self driven? Do they show interest in family, neighbourhood and community affairs? Is your child motivated? Parents, with the use of simple common sense, observation and a bit of insight, are able to ‘read’ their adolescents’ minds through their faces, behaviour and body language. Any early sign of difficulty can be addressed quickly.

In a world of indulgence and the craving for self-gratification, growing as a self-respecting and self-motivated human being with a community ethos and shared social values is definitely a major challenge for most young people in our time. Teenagers will have ups and downs: they may even be at the threshold of a very turbulent life. It may be difficult for many to gain a balanced understanding of the world around them and carve out a role for themselves within it. Parents and adults should be around to provide a wholesome environment for them – rich in both spirituality and unconditional affection.

Young people are inherently innocent, instinctively happy and ever energetic. Their company transmits liveliness and innocence and brings a fresh perspective to elders.

Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari is a community activist, an author and a parenting consultant (www.amanaparenting.com). He is a founding member of The East London Communities Organisation (TELCO), Chairman of the East London Mosque Trust, and former Secretary General of the Muslim Council of Britain (2006-10).

Once the baby is born, mothers can become crazy out of irresistible love and due to the sheer pressure of dealing with the tiny little ‘bundle of joy’ that only know how to demand. Learning to take just the physical care of the little one, e.g., feeding and nappy-changing, can be overwhelming. Life’s routine changes, less sleep and shortage of rest can create fatigue and post-natal depression. In a two-parent family, fathers share the burdens; in one-parent families single parents have to learn the skills to manage. Extended family members may be of good help, if they are around. Life gradually becomes normal.

These demands have their benefits. Babies have a magnetic attraction because of their innocent looks, smile and cooing sound. Their dependence on the parents give parents the worth and importance in life. Whatever the demand, parents, particularly mothers, provide physical closeness and give them all the love and security babies need most in their tender age and in a world which is totally new and daunting to them.

As babies grow, a gradual and natural ‘programme’ for their independence needs to be adopted. This requires careful planning and positive parenting in all the stages; basic parenting ‘skills’ are essential.

Babies by nature know how to communicate and as they grow they learn ‘techniques’ to meaningfully relate to the world. They recognise their mother, father and other members of the family. They see, observe, hear, respond and keep on learning. Countless pieces of information pile up in their brain and tend to overwhelm them about the meaning of the world. All these contribute to the building of their unique personalities. Babies are dependent, but not ignorant or totally helpless. They can express when they are happy, hungry, tired or in pain and they signal these with their smile, cry or body movement. Parents must take their young children’s physical well being, e.g., safety, immunisation, very seriously. So should be their emotional, spiritual and intellectual upbringing. In this formation period of a human being’s journey the newcomer should have a strong grounding on all areas of life.

Newborn babies need continuous company.  They like to be rocked and talked to. Mothers are at the forefront of this closeness to make sure that the baby is clean, well fed and given fresh air. The first two years are crucial for rearing a child.  Mother’s milk is vital in the early stage, not only as it contains uniquely balanced and rich nutritious ingredients for the little one, but also for the close bonding that breast-feeding creates between a mother and her baby. A baby should not be deprived of mother’s milk unless the mother is required to take certain drugs. Breast-feeding should continue until the baby is two, according to most traditions.

Parents learn to deal with their babies by watching them, listening to them and observing their reactions. Babies’ range of signals is limited, so parents need to make extra effort to make sure that babies recognise their signals. Thus, forming secure attachments with babies is most important. It would be unfortunate if mothers are tempted to shy away from their basic tasks before this attachment is secured. Unless absolutely needed, mothers are advised in many cultures not to let their children to be raised by child-minders. Many developed countries now have longer maternal and paternal leave from work which was long overdue. One thing that must not be allowed to creep in parents’ mind is that rearing children is an inferior job, compared to working in the outside world.

Plenty of time and attention is needed for babies for their nurture, especially in the beginning. Parenting, thus, requires careful noticing, interpreting, communicating with the baby and responding to their various needs – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.  As a baby grows, the demands on the parents change. No sooner the parents learn the delicate art of responding to their demands than they suddenly realise that they are dealing with toddlers, and then infants. Parents have to be creative to adapt themselves as to how they handle their child in different phases. Putting them to bed with ‘bed time stories’ is a wonderful practice that helps the children to imagine and think.

Babies like to play and put things in their mouths, nose and ears. As such, all dangerous items, small or big, should be kept out of their reach. They should not be left on their own or unsupervised at these times. All parents must learn a few basic rules of first aid and use common sense at times of emergency. The demand is ever changing and the pressure is varied. It requires extra patience and creativity from parents to take care of an active toddler.

Things become more challenging when babies start going to nursery when they come across other people in their life, other infants and adults. This is the time when parents and adults need to be more innovative in dealing with them. Their physical activity grows and so increases their quest for knowing more. The excellent practice for the parents in this period is to play and enjoy and allow the children to ‘learn through fun’. According to the Prophet of Islam (peace and blessing be upon him) there is generally a three-stage guide to bringing up children – one) for the first seven years of their children’s life, parents should play with them, two) for the next seven (until the age of 14) they should teach them, and three) from the age of 14 to 21, they should be their friend.

Children have a sharper memory than adults. Memorising nursery rhymes or religious texts is easier in the early childhood. While parents should take advantage of this, a child should be equipped with the power of thinking that challenges their brain. Nations rose through promoting creative thinking and fell due to lack of it. Providing children with thinking skills is thus essential; this includes equipping them with personal, physical, social, visual, linguistic, scientific and philosophical intelligence. ‘Your mind is like a parachute. It only works if it is open’, says a common proverb.

Children are naturally curious and they should be encouraged to be so. They will think and ask questions about many things including the meaning of life. Curiosity sharpens their mind and gives them information processing, reasoning and creative skills. ‘Every child is born a genius’ says– Albert Einstein.

Children should be guided to consume healthy food with sufficient nutrition, take regular exercise and engage in intelligent games. A happy life depends on balanced physical and mental growth. In the days of permissive and consumerist culture young children could easily be glued to a TV or computer or now more so with their smartphones.  Uncontrolled use of these gadgets with immersive screens could insulate their mind from the broader world. In addition to making children physically inactive, they can make them dull and socially passive for the whole of their lives.

Children are born with many natural skills, and some may be gifted with a particular one in abundance. Parents and teachers need to explore this in their children and help them in excelling in specific skills.

As parents wield overwhelming influence on their young children, some may feel ‘possessive’ and be tempted to assert too much control on the young ones. This can impoverish the creativity of the children. The best parents are those who not only give their children good education and manners, but also provide them with the ability to think.

*   Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari is a community activist, an author and a parenting consultant (www.amanaparenting.com). He is a founding member of The East London Communities Organisation (TELCO), Chairman of the East London Mosque Trust, and former Secretary General of the Muslim Council of Britain (2006-10).

  The views expressed in this article are the author’s own.

The post-7/7 life has been worrying for Londoners for some time and a continuous testing period particularly for the large British Muslim community, as the four bombers were British born youth of Muslim faith. Although a community should not be blamed for the atrocities of a few, in reality this rationale does not always work and the Muslim community was put in the dock by sections of the media. However, the spirit of justice in modern Britain and the positive efforts of London’s faith leaders and the Mayor of London’soffice helped put things right again.

As the bid was won for London two bodies emerged. The Olympic Delivery Authority (ODA) was set up to build the venues and infrastructure in the Olympic Park. The other, the , London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games and Paralympic Games (LOCOG) is responsible for staging the Games. Towards the end of 2005, I was made aware that I would be called in to join the LOCOG board, due to my extensive connections with East London’s diverse communities. I had been working with many communities for over two decades in East London as a community activist and a teacher, I felt ecstatic joining the Board, as I saw this as an opportunity to help the massive regeneration of the deprived East End and be part of an historic event that would bring the world to London during the Games. My journey with the LOCOG began in early 2006.

It feels like it happened just yesterday but in the mean time tremendous work has gone on behind the venue construction and preparations by the ODA, in full consultation with LOCOG. I have seen LOCOG grow from its infancy to its near adulthood today. Construction of most of the venues on the Park were finished last year, well on time, and in January the Olympic Park was handed over to LOCOG. With successful test events being carried out for some time now, the real Games are just months away. We are at the doorstep of this world event. In spite of not-so-optimistic economic forecast, Britain is in full Olympic mood now.

More than 300 languages are spoken by the people of London, and the city has at least 50 non-indigenous communities with populations of 10,000 or more. Virtually every race, nation, culture and religion in the world can claim at least a handful of Londoners’. London is a world city. There are 1.4 million disabled people in London, of which about 810,000 are of working age. However, like the Euro-zone and rest of Britain, the economic slowdown is biting Londoners. With high unemployment rates for 18 to 24 year olds across Britain, London’s share is affecting some communities more than the others. LOCOG has made sure that Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) is a key part of London 2012. It has addressed these key issues in areas of workforce, procurement, and service delivery. LOCOG has also established a Diversity Board, chaired by its CEO, Paul Deighton, to oversee its D&I work and to ensure that the Olympic and Paralympic values of excellence, friendship, respect, courage, inspiration and equality prevail .

In February 2010 Archbishop Desmond Tutu was invited to address LOCOG’s staff. He also invited them to sign a leadership pledge so that LOCOG fulfils its obligation of incorporating D&I considerations in every key business decision it makes. The majority of contracts were awarded to Small and Medium Size Businesses, allowing smaller firms to gain a slice of the 2012 pie. Larger firms were also obliged to undertake specific actions that fall within the D&I requirements. The process of creating employment opportunities in LOCOG is now in full swing. At its peak LOCOG will need around 6,00 paid staff, over 100,000 contractors and up to 70,000 volunteers who are being given industry-specific training. LOCOG’s target that 15%-20% of itsworkforce come from the six of the Host Boroughs is being met. However, ‘London 2012′ is not for London only. The venues are spread across the UK – with Football in Cardiff, Manchester, Newcastle, Glasgow and Coventry; Sailing in Weymouth; Mountain-Biking in Essex; Rowing at Eton Dorney; Paralympic Road Cycling at Brands Hatch; and Canoe Slalom in Hertfordshire. The Games belong to the whole country.

There have been some challenges with the ticket sale. LOCOG’s plan was to keep tickets affordable to most people and to make sure that the seats do not remain empty as has happened in many previous Games. The 6-week application period given last year to pre-register for tickets was met by a huge demand that massively exceeded supply, especially in some popular events. The demand for the Opening Ceremony (more than 2m requests), Athletics (more than 1m request for Men’s 100m final), Track Cycling, Swimming and Artistic Gymnastics was astounding. They were put to ballot. There are still opportunities for buying tickets, when they go back on sale in April.

The challenges of holding a world event in a democratic society should not be under-estimated. London’s high traffic congestion can often be difficult; with millions of extra people this can be a nightmare. Given last summer’s riots in England and sustained high level of security threat, security is another big issue. The Government, LOCOG and London Mayor’s office all being aware of this have taken necessary measures. There has obviously been huge investment in transport and security. It is thus absolutely vital London traffic keeps moving during the events. It is also crucial London and the rest of Britain remain vigilant on the law and order so that Britain and the rest of the world can enjoy this epic event in peace and harmony.

* Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari is a community activist, an author and a parenting consultant (www.amanaparenting.com). He is a founding member of The East London Communities Organisation (TELCO), Chairman of the East London Mosque Trust, and former Secretary General of the Muslim Council of Britain (2006-10).

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own.

The full article can be found at http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/../../muhammad-abdul-bari/olympics-london-2012-a-celebration_b_1292015.html

Follow the London 2012 blogs on ‘Religion’ and ‘Diversity & Inclusion’ here.

Follow Muhammad Abdul Bari on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MAbdulBari

A child is a fruit of love between two human beings. For people who have religious faith, such life starts from God’s love for creation. Love, kindness, compassion and harmony are at the heart of biological continuity. One of the fascinating things about humans, and even some animal species, is the immeasurable and indescribable love they have for their offspring. Man and woman are a pair in this world: the love between them is the essence of human continuity. Love is the fountain that creates passionate feelings and emotions. ‘Only from the heart can you touch the sky,’ said the famous 13th century mystic-poet, Rumi.

In my previous piece on the topic, Parenting: A Core Duty and Basic Right in a Family, I emphasised parental duties and children’s rights in a family. One school teacher, a new parent, pointed out that the title could be misconstrued by some, as parenting is beyond duties and rights. I could not agree more. In fact, that’s what I tried to say in the article. Parenting is beyond mechanical and legalistic rights and duties. In a family it is expressed and manifested through love, mercy, compassion and care from the depth of one’s heart.

The natural demand of love appears to be giving freedom to one’s child; on the other hand, the natural demand of care seems to be discipline. This love and care are as intertwined as freedom and discipline are. All this is embedded in human nature. Freedom without limits and discipline without love are detrimental to children: in fact to all of us.

That’s what makes parenting a challenging but joyful enterprise. Once a child is born, the priority and lifestyle of parents naturally change or readjust. An unquestionable sense of responsibility fills the atmosphere at home. Holding newborn babies as they make their first cry on earth is the most wonderful and radiant experience for a mother and a father. The first skin-to-skin contact with the baby can be ecstatic. The tender hug of the mother and father tells the baby ‘you are the most loved one on earth, we are there for you’.

Needless to say, parenting is undertaken for a child’s sake: from the embryonic stage in the mother’s womb, through, then development into a fully-dependent tiny human being, and on into adulthood. Parenting, in essence, is an investment for the future – a very long future indeed. “If your plan is for one year plant rice. If your plan is for ten years plant trees. If your plan is for one hundred years educate children”, said the Chinese thinker and social philosopher, Confucius. The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said, “When a son of Adam passes away, he is cut off from his deeds except for three things: a current or perpetual charity, good knowledge that benefits someone, and a good child who makes supplication for him.” There are numerous other words of wisdom on the need for effective parenting.

Experts have talked about different styles of parenting and their impacts upon children – authoritarian, indulgent, neglectful and authoritative – and advised parents to be authoritative. Some have used the term ‘positive parenting’ or ‘rational parenting’. I consider this as ‘common sense parenting’. Children need unconditional support, guidance and positive encouragement for their potential to be unleashed. They also need to experience the realities of life, the challenges and dynamics that affect their life and place in the society. They need to develop their self-esteem and grow into their own person so that their potentials flourish. Each parent needs to build an intuitive, psychological and emotional bond with each of their children. For this, it is vital that a parent spends some quality and one-to-one time with each child regularly and consistently, at least until the child settles after the challenging phase of adolescence. This is vital in every stage of the child’s development. In a family where one parent is failing to do this – or missing altogether for some reason – the other parent should try to compensate.

It is also vital that the child becomes central to the family or extended family, where the ethos of share and care, compromise and sacrifice are practiced and promoted. No matter how busy the parents are, age-appropriate communication and continuous discussions with children in a family context are essential. Consistency in parental behaviour with the child and other members of the family is an absolute necessity: children must understand their parents and need consistency in order to develop self-confidence. Inconsistency, emotional outbursts and violence in the family destroy the innocence of a child and the future adult.

Children need structure and discipline for their balanced development in life. Parents with good routines in life help their children enormously. Of course, a family environment cannot be like a school or workplace. A flexible and agreed-upon boundary is required. Taking advantage of local resources from the neighbourhood and community is beneficial. As children grow and go to nursery or school, parental interest in their educational and social needs, especially in their early development period, is vital.

Parenting is a generational and inter-generational task for the development and sustenance of stable, peaceful and successful societies. Through positive parenting, a family plays the role of a nursery, school and university, to produce conscientious and humane generations. Parenting, unpaid and often unrecognised, is definitely a demanding task but it is one of life’s core task. It is challenging, but deeply enjoying; both rewarding and adventurous. To people of faith, parenting is ever-important for this life and the life to come, with children as ‘Amana’, meaning both ‘test’ and ‘trust’.

Parenting needs creative thinking, strategic planning, full commitment and massive compromise. As leaders, mentors and teachers of children, parents are the creator of new worlds.

* Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari is a community activist, an author and a parenting consultant (www.amanaparenting.com). He is a founding member of The East London Communities Organisation (TELCO), Chairman of the East London Mosque Trust, and former Secretary General of the Muslim Council of Britain (2006-10).

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own.

This article was first published on Huffington Post, here.

Follow Muhammad Abdul Bari on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MAbdulBari

“The motto of a budding family should be parenting, parenting, parenting. It is true that many problems caused by adolescents could be avoided if they were given proper parental care and control. A large share of the blame for last year’s rioting lies on the shoulders of parents not doing their job properly.”

I know him as a wise man and his email prompted me to write this piece.

In an op-ed piece in August 2011 (which can be found at The Huffington Post and AlJazeera English) I mentioned:

“A society where family structure is robust, will more likely turn youthful energy to nation building. Where it is weak, that is a recipe for the kind of disorder we have seen on our streets so recently.”

Family is at the heart of any society. Effective, positive and assertive parenting needs to be at the heart of every family. A child grows in the hands of adults, fully dependent for survival, protection and growth. Mother and father are naturally and instinctively the first people in a child’s life who not only make sure of their balanced growth but also preserve and strengthen the family’s intellectual, cultural and spiritual heritage through these children.

In his leader speech at the Party Conference in 1996 former Prime Minister Tony Blair set the tone of his future government:

“Ask me my three main priorities for Government, and I tell you: education, education and education.”

Education is indeed vital for a nation: however, education starts at home with good-quality parenting from a child’s birth. ‘Home is the best school’ goes the old maxim.

Parenting is more than parenthood. It is a conscious endeavour that starts from the moment a baby is conceived in a mother’s womb. It is the core duty of every parent and a basic right of every child to have such conscious attention. The task of parenting does not end with puberty or when a child reaches 16. It is a life-long commitment that involves physical, emotional, social and spiritual wellbeing – from the womb to the tomb. Of course, the nature of parenting changes as a child grows from dependence to adult life. The reward of effective parenting is enormous and long-lasting. On the other hand, poor parenting or abdicating responsibility can bring devastating consequences for the family, as well as wider society (and the nation as a whole).

Parenting, in essence, is about preparing for the future, a one-time opportunity to set a child on the right path for life. The historic adage that the ‘Hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world’ is wisely remembered and practised by successful nations.

The essential ingredient of parenting is love. However, as a child grows ‘blind love’ needs to be replaced by ‘tough love’. Children need opportunity and freedom, but for their balanced growth – to become ‘good human beings’ – they need consistent, rational and strong boundaries. Discipline in life is vital, far more so for children during their adolescence, a phase with challenging physical, emotional and social changes accompanied by critical behavioural issues such as insecurity, egocentrism, lifestyle and attitude changes, changing eating habits and possible mental health consequences.

Parenting is also about motivating children to think positively and act constructively. This could be an uphill task in communities or groups that suffer from negative media portrayal and social stigma: for example, certain post-9/11 Muslim communities in a few European countries. The natural tendency of these people, who feel ‘cornered’, could be to withdraw from society. We must all guard against this possibility, otherwise to ‘protect’ their children they could isolate them within their own ghettos. This would represent a huge wastage of of human resources and potential, as well as leaving a dire legacy for those communities in the future.

So, how do parents inspire their children when, in their own communities, social deprivation and educational achievement might be low, generation and culture gaps wide, social ills high, and the prison population many times their demographic proportion? This is a harsh reality for Muslims in many European countries, including Britain.

There is no magic wand to solve these issues, in either a mainstream society or in specific communities. There are common social ills that affect all young people, regardless of background: bullying, prejudice, bigotry, delinquency, antisocial behaviour, drugs, extremism, violence, etc. The increasing numbers of domestic violence and family breakdowns in many developed societies presents an enormous economic and social cost. Politicians, faith and community leaders, the media and grass-roots activists must all address these issues, collectively, if societies – and the younger generation – are to prosper and to ‘belong’.

Yes – we must have a macro-level solution, with action from government, non-governmental organisations, community groups, civil society bodies and faith and community centres. But there can also be no compromise with effective parenting. There needs to be a grass-root parenting movement, with individual parents acquiring basic parenting skills and employing them with confidence. Confident parents are able to create a positive home environment and impart in their children, especially in their adolescence, the self-esteem and drive needed to succeed in life.

Parenting is more than a family issue; a family cannot raise its children in isolation. It is about building communities, societies and nations. It is about giving children an inclusive vision of life and to prepare them to work for the good of all, to build a nation. It is about creating good citizens and good human beings.

This article was first published on Huffington Post, here: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/muhammad-abdul-bari/parenting-a-core-duty-and_b_1244942.html

Th book launch was generously hosted by Lord Nazir Ahmed of Rotherham, who recounted his own experiences of his adolescence and the greater need for parenting issues to be taken up by the Muslim community.

Many distinguished guests also spoke on matters of parenting and added their commemorations to the occasions and also learned of Dr. Abdul Bari’s latest book, which will be published as an e-book online.

Professor John Adair, an internationally acclaimed leadership theorist and author of forty books on business, military and other leadership comments on the book, by saying: “The book is very readable and once I had started I couldn’t put it down! It is full of good practical common sense and useful tips, against the background of the received wisdom of the Islamic tradition. One feels great compassion for those who have to live this life without the foundation of being born into and raised in loving family, so I hope that the message of your book will be widely influential.”

The book can be purchased online via the publishers here: http://www.taha.co.uk/a-guide-to-parenting-in-islam%3A-addressing-adolescence~234